my problem?
i can't do anything, i have no motivation, no nothing, if i don't have something to look forward to.
i am physically incapable of getting out of bed and going and actually doing something with my life unless i have whatever - school camp, an event, going out with my friends - to look forward to. i hate it and it sucks like pus. and even when i do have something to look forward to, i STILL SOMEHOW waste time doing some useless thing. time is passing too quickly and i'm so afraid i'm going to throw away my entire life worrying about said future & not doing anything about it. i can but also can't explain it. i think my problem is i'm so scared of having to try being bad at something, and i let that fear consume my existence.
an example of this is my guitar. i got a guitar for christmas. i still haven't played it, and it's been like half a year, all because i'm so afraid of being bad.
to summarise i have no motivation & no dignity & no discipline whatsoever.
until next time,
g
